Beginning A Weight Loss Journey Pillows

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Be Healthy

On the back of the t-shirt...

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Exercise now!

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Exercise Bars

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"When I suggested you should walk a couple of miles a day I didn't mean to just see me!"

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Guy in gym