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"Once upon a time, in a land far away...."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

The Poky Little Pupa.

'She's just great with the children.'

Little Princess.

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."