Bedtime Story Collector Gifts

The princess and the pea.

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

A beaver with his false teeth in a glass.

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Late night teddy reading

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

Dog Nightmares

'She's just great with the children.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'At lone at last.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."