Bedtime Prayers Pillows

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

Dog Nightmares

'Where was the TSA?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'She's just great with the children.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"