Bedtime Optimist T-Shirts

"Perfect! I like a firm mattress and he likes it soft."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Well did he?"

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"Think about the honey."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Sleeping masks

Please take them off

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

The Force of Example.

"Honey are you asleep?" "I am now."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

'Once upon a time...'

Bedtime Reading

"See you in the morning."

'I'm really tired, daddy. Can we discuss irony tomorrow night?'