Bedtime Imaginer T-Shirts

Man reinacts diving entry into the sea.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'She's just great with the children.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Name your sources."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."