Bedtime Attire Enthusiast Pillows

'Two for the fridge?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Bedtime story.

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

Fairtale prosecutions.

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

'You see? There are no Wall Street millionaires under your bed.'

"And so, with thee help of their relate counsellor, they lived happily ever after..."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would make a great reality show."

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

" 'Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.' "

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

'If you're alone in here, who just said 'Ribbit'?'

Please take them off

'Well yes, son. I imagine some marriages of convenience took place.'

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"