Bedside Philosophers T-Shirts

"Wrong side. Right side."

"Talk nerdy to me."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Well did he?"

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

"I feel your pain level."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Think about the honey."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

"I'll get that. First go get me a glass of warm water."

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

'One of life's great mysteries...Why does it take four week's salary to pay for two week's holiday?.'

'Well, you could have fooled me. You look as though you're having a good time.'

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."

How does she get her grass so green?

'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'

"But counting sheep makes me hungry."

Celestial reading lamp.

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."