Bedside Manner Buff Pillows

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

"Who knows how to take bad news?"

"I'd rain back on that Hannibal Lecter and give it more Mother Theresa."

"I find this helps, when I have to tell a patient some devastating news."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"I feel your pain level."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

Doctors Discussion

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

Non-verbal Management Skills.

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

Body Language - Hiss!

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

'I've called maintenance about your bed, Mr. Grimes...Mr. Grimes?'

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

Body language: the double negative

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

Silent Body Language

"He said absolutely, positively, read my lips - NO! Unless I'm reading him wrong, I'd say he's definitely warming up to the idea."

He's a brilliant doctor, but his bedside manner needs work…

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'