Bedroom Style Advisor T-Shirts

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Tedious Romantic.

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

'We'll take it!'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

Football addict

The trouble with memory foam beds.

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

Wine Lovers

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

"Dang it."

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

'Tom, Roscoe has been with me for nine years. You have been with me only two years. When the sad day comes that Roscoe passes on, THEN you can move to this end of the bed.'

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress... Should last for years...'

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

"Lose the man bun and shave your head."