Becoming A New Mom Pillows

"Just a sec honey...Mommy has to cut this up into little pieces, so the vacuum can pick it up easier."

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

"Wanna swap?"

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'What's play?'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mother Nature

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

The Elephant in the Womb

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'No creamed peas for me today!'