Becoming A Mom Pillows

"Surprise, mom! We made you breakfast on bed."

"I couldn't find a sitter."

"I love being on the mommy track."

"The Momfia"

This is the last time I host a pool themed birthday party!"

'Mother, you have made my life hell.'

'We're playing 'mummy'!'

'A work in Progress.'

'I can't wait till I outgrow my role as an accessory.'

'My mom's natural state when she isn't working or driving us around.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Domestic Superheroes!!

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Interior design trends for parents....

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'The child is very illogical'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"