Becoming A Man Pillows

"Today, son, you are a man."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Interior design trends for parents....

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Feel free to take notes."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'The child is very illogical'

"That's not how I sat on you."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Same old same old. How about you?"