Beauty Salon Junkie T-Shirts

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

New Twenty Blades

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"More concealer?"

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"