Beauty Queens T-Shirts

How to take a really honest, no make-up selfie.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

A day at the races

Miss America IQ Pageant

'Have you no common scents?!'

Ladies

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

A Manicure

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Hospital gown pageant.

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'I want to be yummy mummified.'

Life on Earth - Oldie catwalk.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

Mary Christmas preparing for her big night out.

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

"Might be a good idea to lighten up on the mascara hun'."

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

"I have the smokey eyes look. Can the doctor still give me an eye exam?"

Circus Pageant

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

"I know I'm good looking, but am I good looking enough to move to California?"

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'Ok, ok... I'm coming but with all those CCTV camera about I like to look my best.'

'So you think a little litter on my eyelids would send out the wrong message?'