Beauty Product Junkie Gifts

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

Lesser known greek gods,

Shampoo.

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

New Twenty Blades

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'Mildred....is that you?'

"So what's your success rate?"

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

"You're using too much concealer Sharon. . ."

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

'Well, I actually believe my face cream makes me look younger. You believe no one knows you're wearing a padded bra. . . we all love our delusions.'

Beauty regime

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

Just stop (macassar) oil

"I said I wanted to go to Stacey's Nail Bar."

"I have the smokey eyes look. Can the doctor still give me an eye exam?"

Cut out and keep your own Make up Artist.

The entire family

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

"You have a very rare conditioner."