Beauty Lover Gifts

Fake tan and no knickers.

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'Okay. I'll tell you who the fairest of them all is,on the condition you stop squeezing your spots all over me.'

'I need something to remove the hair on my chinny chin chin.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Oh, great! And me without my makeup on yet!'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"So what's your success rate?"

Butterfly Woman

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Your dad bought you makeup for your birthday....try to act pleasantly surprised.'

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

NOTICE ME

'So which do you think - 'Passionate Pink' or 'Sultry Sienna'?'

"Could you explain split ends to me?"

'And old hags shouldn't be working in the beauty department.'

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

'Are you smiling because Daddy got a raise?' 'No, I'm smiling because Mommy got a pedicure.'

Nice nails. Yes, but it's hell putting in my contacts.

CCTV Cameras Operate in this Store - Woman puts makeup on.

'Wow, now I understand why you want to be just like your Mummy when you grow up: She's so pretty!'

"Bad Hair Life"

Caught their eye.

Acceptance Shampoo: Your Hair Is Just Like That.

Bad hair day!

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

What price beauty?

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'