Beauty Buffs Gifts

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Have you ever been young before?"

"She's had so much work done that she's starting to look like her mother."

Shampoo School. Lather and rinse. Excuse me, could you repeat that?

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

When prunes lose the plot: they advertise anti wrinkle cream.

Gullible prunes.

Make-up Advice - Fair Skin, Dark Skin, Clowns.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'What a surprise seeing you here. Having your ‘before' picture taken?'

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Bad hair day!

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

The Cat Spa

Sheep In Curlers

Do you think I'm sixty?