Beauty Balm Believer T-Shirts

"I didn't mean to imply your laugh lines are funny, Mrs. Carpentier."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

Have you got your make up on yet?

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Not now!"

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"So what's your success rate?"

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

"They're magic beans, mum. They don't give you gas."

'Why's that girl got weird brown hair?'

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

'Is this your first makeover, Mr. Quasimodo?'

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."

"Yes, I would love you more if you didn't make mobiles out of old cutlery and beads."

"Grandmother, what big lips you have!"

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"

"I made a video of your water baptism..."

'My mother thinks I'm beautiful. I'd like a second opinion.'

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

"Looks like someone had another 'dentist appointment!'"

'Smart move Jack! Any suggestions on how we harvest the beans?'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

"Your ears seek wisdom, but your lips seek Himalayan lip balm."

"But how do I look for the age I've told everybody I am?"

Woman files God's nails.

Balloon giving CPR.

"This treatment cleanses your system of all its excess money."