Beauty Balm Believer T-Shirts

"I didn't mean to imply your laugh lines are funny, Mrs. Carpentier."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

Have you got your make up on yet?

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Not now!"

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"So what's your success rate?"

"Rare, medium or well done?"

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

"They're magic beans, mum. They don't give you gas."

'Why's that girl got weird brown hair?'

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

"See how much better you look after a good nights sleep."

'Is this your first makeover, Mr. Quasimodo?'

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

"Yes, I would love you more if you didn't make mobiles out of old cutlery and beads."

"Grandmother, what big lips you have!"

'There's a risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid.'

"I made a video of your water baptism..."

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"

'My mother thinks I'm beautiful. I'd like a second opinion.'

"Looks like someone had another 'dentist appointment!'"

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

'Smart move Jack! Any suggestions on how we harvest the beans?'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

"But how do I look for the age I've told everybody I am?"

"Your ears seek wisdom, but your lips seek Himalayan lip balm."

Woman files God's nails.

"This treatment cleanses your system of all its excess money."

'The Botox will help me to kiss up to the Boss.'