Bearded Adventurer T-Shirts

The cry rang out. "There's gold in that there castle in the sky!" And the great beanstalk rush of 1849 had begun.

Haircuts

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

Man fishing with large bait

wattle covers

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

"Now you can send it."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

The Beard in the Stone

Diving Cat.

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'Long shift?'

Bearded Leftie.

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"...it's another metal detector."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Your five o'clock shadow is showing, Mike.

The Organic

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"We have a very special relationship with our barber."

"It makes you look old."