Bear Whisperer Pillows

Bear tells man to stop snoring

'Did you hear a twig snap?'

Black Bear Fact: Bears wake up from hibernation just long enough to give birth to their cubs.

Turned out to be a not-so-lucky bottle cap.

You've been hibernating around again!

Angry telephone call.

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'What kind of bait are you using?'

'For heaven's sake, Claudia. Give him the tuna fish sandwiches!'

"The animal control people relocated your friend two weeks ago. I just now moved in."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Children's Parties

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Foster failure"

Licensed Therapist

Cat woman shopping for cats.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."