Bear Encounter Survivor Pillows

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

First aid in mountains

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Barbeque Casualty.

'Hole in one!!!!'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

Sub-prime Bear

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

God in the bunker.

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

Bear Bears his Cross

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

Sling

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

Offering a golfer a spade.

"I hate sand traps."

'Always with the hugs! Would it kill you to kiss me once in a while?'

'You got something against bear hugs?'

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

"How was the ski trip?"

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

Half a loaf is better than none..