Bean Counter Gifts

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"I'll be needing one of your legs as well!"

When Accountants get Schizophrenia

'And this is where the magic happens.'

"...Thompson...there should be a Nobel Prize for accountancy."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

I think we've got the numbers right we just don't know which ones to use... Or what order to put them in.

Bulk foods...mixed beans, 49 cents...assorted healthful legumes, 98 cents.

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

If you can hold off a week, you can deduct the child on your year one taxes. The Three Wise Accountants.

Great Moments in Accountancy.

Tax - Random Audit

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

...so according to my calculations you owe me...

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"Ah. Who know what new adventure awaits me today in the thrilling, action-packed world of double-entry bookkeeping?"

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

A hill of beans that amounted to something.

'Abolish the death tax? And open another loophole?'

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'You look like an intelligent man, sir -- how would you like to buy some magic beans?'

"Technically Jack, those magic beans are considered unreported income."

'You forgot to carry over the deceit.'

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

Your receipt, Sir.

I'd like to investigate your tax return!

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'50 of the population spends more than they earn. That's where we come in.'

'I see you have all your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

I hear you people are desperate for accountants.

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

Man's self-assessment form says: 'I'm screwed.'