Beachcomber With A Twist Pillows

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Man with metal detector finds metal on beach, but it's a buried metal detector and its owner is also dead and buried.

"I like my kids well done, don't you?"

"You'll like global warming because the seas will rise and this beach will be under water."

"...it's another metal detector."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Daughters on the beach

Crab with a clown face.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Hey, it's true, you really can hear the sea in these shells!

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

'See you in two weeks!'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Well Earned Vacation"