Bbc Watcher Mugs

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"A Ms. Ramona Bissell of West Allison, Vermont, writes, 'What the hell is going on?' We here at WVCN think that question deserves an answer."

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Man ignores a football kicked through the window because his attention is on the TV.