Battle Of The Sexes Humorist T-Shirts

Man trying to understand women by reading book.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

German School

The Female Brain and The Other One

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'