Battle Of Lifestyles Fans Pillows

Night Owls v. Morning People

Punk Reindeer

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'Therapy in L.A.'

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

Renaissance Zone

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Meghan Markle Lifestyle Netflix

'Sid slithers to a different drummer.'

Crusty Bread

'We transformed our lives for the better.'

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

Landmark selfie

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

"I'll be doing my deliveries naked this year, Mrs. Claus!!"

Hall of mirrors.

'I understand they're in the fast food business.'

Man is raking up leaves on a nudist beach.

'I'll grant you all men are reptiles, but not all reptiles are men.'

'I was talking to your swimsuit.'

"Let me rephrase that. Are you allergic to anything other than commitment?"

Phone buff.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

'Trick-or-upgrade.'

"It's hard to say there are more dopey men than women - they're just more obvious."