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The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

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'How's the water skiing?'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

Bagpipes in the bath.

"That's my boy!"

"The back flip was a nice touch."

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

"I'm here to gets the gold"

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'How are you doing? I've got the frying pan on the cooker!'

"It's nice to see John finally relaxing."

Man with piano in bath - "It's not the singing I'm complaining about."

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

'No matter how many times I beat these guys they still don't take me serious.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

'The competitor in lane five is completely naked!'

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"That is six feet."

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Things to do today: Practice for long distance swim.

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'