Bath Day Buff Pillows

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Lady of the bath...

'Now here's a place I like!'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

Flan-eating bacteria

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

Bacterial Cultural Center

"Uh-Oh!"

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

Strategies that will always work

How to recover from a bad day

"What did I say about leaving those things by the bath?"

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'Which end's the shallow end?'

Easter Island

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'