Basshead T-Shirts

"That car has a totally 'ya''' sound system!"

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Winter is not a season, it's an occupation. Sinclair Lewis, boy, Sinclair Lewis."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

I love my motor.

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

Santa Metal Claus

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

Now play some Metallica!

'...Well, this is it Lana...the place where I was born and raised!'

Before the accident? John was a truck driver.

Cottage Cheese

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

Double Bass.

"Our band is called 'Paper'. We'll be covering some rock for you this evening."

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

"It has 'stop start' technology. The other pedal is the clutch."

Musical Mestizo.

'Air guitar 101.'

Now showing Risky Beeswax

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

"You have some serious bed head, Dear."

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Don't forget to switch off your cellphones.

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'Well I see we both got our ugly sleep.'

One night, Albert got haunted by a Heavy Metal demon.

"...Even Death himself went through a 'Glam Reaper' phase."

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"

No, I'm afraid I don't know any songs in the death metal genre.