Basement Lover Pillows

"Should we have to evacuate the building, let's not forget him."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Open House of Horrors

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

Mammoth Posing

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

Dear Folks, it's lonely at the top.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

'It appears to be a genuine bat-out-of-hell.'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"You see? That noise you heard was just the man-monster Daddy cobbled together using stolen cadaver parts."

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

It was a nice neighborhood untill the A-holes moved in.

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

Safe harbour

"I've had to leave the city: the noise pollution was making it difficult for me to fly safely..."

'It's not that I reject your values, mom and dad. It's just that I've evolved and you haven't.'

"I finally have my very own place where I can do what I want in my parents basement."