Baseball Umpire T-Shirts

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

An umpire vacuum's home plate.

Brett Kavanaugh

A student at Baseball Umpire School sees a sign on a door Closed Taking A Ball Four

'Making split-second decisions, never admitting a mistake, being vilified by the public - maybe we ought to work for the government.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Cricket widow's revenge 2

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

Baseball.

'How's that, Umpire?'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

You promised you wouldn't bring work home with you!

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

Referee cop.

'Give us another minute, blue. The surgeon just reattached the tendon and he's closing up.'

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

'Steeee-rike three!'

Some Cricket Novelties.

The public was right

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'