Baseball Official Pillows

A picket line for the umpires union.

"They're right, you do need glasses."

Annual Umpire's Banquet.

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Perils of the double play.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'It's baseball season!'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

The Other Cooperstown

Currently Boston

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.