Baseball Historian Gifts

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

350 Feet.

Trojan Hurdler.

Perils of the double play.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

Remarkable run-ups 1890-1940

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Official Team Cap With Beard

Extra innings.

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

Baseball Dreams

Stadium. No fans allowed. In baseball, "shutout" now has two meanings.

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

Baseball breaking the fourth wall of the cartoon panel.

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

Strike 3! 'Dammit - all I can think about is that $5,350,000!'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Your Honor, I have a rebuttal witness."

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

'Do you ever get the feeling that baseball is a national obsession?'

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'