Baseball Fan Prints

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

"Don't try to tell me this P.E. class! Get back to your homeschooling!"

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

A picket line for the umpires union.

"It's the middle of the inning and the investment advisors have taken the field."

Baseball Pitchers: Starter/Short Relief/Long Relief/Closer.

"Just remember, son, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose - unless you want Daddy's love."

Sports Medicine.

'The bad news is that you have Multiple Personality Disorder - the good news is one of you is hitting .432.'

'When does the groundskeeper get back from vacation?'

Baseball in the Trump Era

'You're in the big leagues, Sid, so suck it up. If the voices in your head are heckling you, just ignore them.'

'You're caught in a pickle! It's hopeless! Drop the knife!!'

'Bats.' (Baseball bats in a cave).

'He's gonna break any moment now. They're using the old 'good hop, bad hop' routine.'

'Heads up, Carl! Pinch runner!'

'You mean this is it? This is the catch of the day?'

'I went to give a high five - missed the other guy's hand - and hit the rim of the dugout.'

'It's the Vikings, sire! They've obtained the technology to build pitching machines!'

Television Baseball

'On that last pitch, he felt something pop in his elbow. ...I'm a little concerned.'

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

"After all the signals I've given you, you still voted for the wrong candidate."

Accountants 'Specializing in ballpark figures'

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

'He supports 3 strikes and you're out.'

'...And that is why I tell you not to bunt like this.'

'And remember: no more errors or you'll be joining Daniel in the snake pit...'

Who won what game?

Why are you encouraging Teddy to play Lacrosse? Baseball is much calmer. Lacrosse totally exhausts him. Exactly! A tired boy is a harmless boy.

It was funny the first couple of times, but now I want you to stop tickling the back of my neck.

"A game similar to baseball was first played in the Olympics in 1996." I didn't think "Jeapardy!" had any softball questions.

After Trump Gets Booed at a Baseball Game, America Asks Itself Who to Blame

"Why not try chocolate? ...and be just like the Pros!"

She said she loved diamonds. So on her birthday, he took her to a baseball game.