Barking Protector Pillows

'It's voice activated, password protection software. Now, the cat can't log on using my screen name.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Dog phrenology

Sonata for Piano and Dog

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

'He's barking mad!'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

Dog

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'No, no, no I said SIT'

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'