Barking Banter Lover Mugs

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Arf! Arf!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Dog phrenology

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

An Archeologic Dig

Dog in therapy.

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

'He's barking mad!'

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'Here comes Ted.'