Bark-tastic Storyteller T-Shirts

"Another slander suit!"

Bitchbark Canoe

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

No Soliciting

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Dog phrenology

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

Dog in therapy.

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

Press freedom day

The Battle of the Pictures.

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

"A vibrant imagination is an excellent quality for the job...but not the CV."