Bargain Booze Lover T-Shirts

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

A Quiet Rebuke.

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'I'm an atheist!'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Online Shopping.

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

How much would you take off for cash?

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

Bargains

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

Cool coffee: An adult millennial daycare.

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

"We don't need a test drive. Just let us try out the cup holders."

6-7pm: 'Money can't buy happiness' hour.

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

sale

Final clearance sale.

Garage Sales Anonymous

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

Farmers Telemarket. That's right. Beans for just $.10 a carton. Ma'am, would you like a month's worth of corn absolutely free? We'll even switch your onions for you!

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth-to-mouth.'

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."