Barfly With Biceps Pillows

'She's be great in the olympics. She can hang on a bar and chin for hours.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Fried chickens.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"What would you like me to play next?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."