Barbershop Banter Lover Mugs

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"Does sir wear his hair cut just off the ear?"

"The ear? I married a rancher's daughter."

"Is that enough off the top?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Drunk Barber

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"...and yes, you did take too much off the top!"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Giraffe Haircut

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Here comes Ted.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Not too much off my back."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Can we discuss this?"

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

I am a bass/baritone/tenor.

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'How long will it be until he can sit up and take the criticism?'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

We're back, baby! Oh, no. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr. Web. $12.50. I'll have Jell-o. Make that two Jello-os. We're celebrating. The old lady and I are back together again. What? How dare you?! I'm only four months older than you. You're on thin ice, darling. Oh, I'm on thin ice, snookums? Am I the one who invited his freeloading sister to live with us without even a discussion? Am I the one who "accidentally" left the gate open so her husband's beloved dog could run away? ... Dear? You're the

'Speak with the voice of reason again.'

Sports Bar: 5-7 pm No Bullying During Happy Hour.