Bar Storytelling Enthusiast Pillows

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"An everything Martini, please."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"You want your olive?"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Frog and Princess in Bar

"Do they look tired to you?"

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Raw Piano Bar

'I told you. . . H not S!'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'