Bar Scene T-Shirts

Dogs at bar: 'If it weren't for teh food and shelter, I'd never chase another frisbee.'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Not all lobsters, babe. I'm just looking for a good time."

Happy Hour

"Hey, have you ever noticed that the letters in your phone number say 'hit-the-road'?"

'That's it, I'm going to become a monk.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'Don't complain. I've been trying to meet a mindless robot.'

"Matt was a victim of identity fraud."

'It's your wife. She says you'd better call Dial-A-Prayer before you head for home.'

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"Artist's model, huh, anything I might have seen you in?"

"When I start toasting Putin and Trump, stop my drinks."

'No ice.'

Pina Coladas

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"You want your olive?"

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"It's a full moon somewhere."

"So, do you come here often?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'