Bar Hanging T-Shirts

'Studies show people are more likely to disagree with something than agree with it.'( 'That's not true.')

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'No ice.'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Dolphin friendly tuna

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Best Before 5th Pint.

"An everything Martini, please."

"I think we may be related!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.