Bar Back Gifts

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'No ice.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Shaken not stirred

Dolphin friendly tuna

Beers

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"An everything Martini, please."

"I think we may be related!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."