Baptismal Buff Pillows

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Theorbo

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

'Are we there yet?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'Look man, no wings!'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

May your Christmas be full of harmony

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Even More Disciples'

Adam and Eve, as old people.