Banking Joker Prints

'And the name of your bank please?'

'I don't either have to pay a penalty for early withdrawal!'

Why markets crash.

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Note Book

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Can you check my balance.'

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

Why stocks go up forever.

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

Businessman Sitting in Naughty Corner.

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."