Banking Big Shots Pillows

Fat Cats 483 - Watchdog 0

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

Born to raise interest rates.

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

loan

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."