Banking Wits Pillows

'Cash machine. Excuse me, got any spare change?'

'The bank returned our loan application.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

Spanish bank needs propping up.

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

loan

Save! O% interest on your deposits.

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."