Ballroom Humorist Mugs

Ann Widdecombe

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"What other tricks does he need?"

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Rap-scallions

Double Saxophone

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Ding" "Dong"

No Instruments Please

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."